A Continuation

Although it's been almost six months since I left Finland, my year in Leppävirta is still actively a part of my life. Admittedly, I rarely speak Finnish anymore, but every where I turn in my new life in Montreal, I am reminded of what the past year brought for me. Walking down the streets, with the cold wind in my face, I can only imagine that I am in Finland again. I welcome the feeling now, though during my exchange I always dreaded the way my cheeks would burn after the brisk walk to school. Every day, I look at pictures from my year, pictures of my host families, friends and home, and I wish I could go back, or at least just enjoy the Finnish winter once again. I'm coming to visit soon, though. This summer, I'm planning to stay a week in Leppävirta, so I've already started practicing my Finnish again, just in case it's gotten a little rusty.
Last week, I skyped with one of my host families for the first time since I left. It was such an odd experience, to see my family again and to feel like I was with them. My little sister, Loviisa, kept asking me if I'd be coming home tonight. We promised to write to each other, even though she's only 4.
Recently, I've been picking up the old hobbies I had in Finland, too. With all my free time during exchange, I spent hours making paper snowflakes with my little sisters or knitting with Mummo. Now that it's exam time, oddly enough I have plenty of time to do these things during study breaks. While classes were in session, though, I was always rushing from one lecture to another, using my breaks to catch up on reading or prepare for a midterm. I don't have classes anymore, though, and my next exam is on Friday, so I've been knitting a lot, but mostly just reminiscing.
The thing I miss most about Finland is the feeling of belonging. Although, it's true, I'm not anywhere close to being a Finn-I'm talkative, outgoing, and I find it hard to keep to myself, there was always something about not belonging that made me feel just right living in Finland. There, I always knew what to expect, and finding an excuse for something I wasn't ready for was easy- it's just because it's Finland. Every day, I think about those last months I spent in the Finnish spring. The memory is stark in my mind; all the light made the colors brilliant, and the warm air and budding flowers make for the most beautiful picture. What I think I never would have predicted, though, was how much I'd miss the winter. I hated it while I was there, but there was something especially novel about it. Here, it's dark, but there's no snow, and it'd be embarrassing to say it was cold outside. I miss walking down the street over snow that's been packed since November, not being able to see the sky because there's a blizzard (again), and having to kick your shoes against the wall when you walk inside because the rocks and snow are all stuck to the soles of your feet. I miss going skiing with my host families, falling over in the snow, not being able to get back up when I'm alone...
I miss my host family, too. Memories of going to sauna every week, of waking up at midnight and hearing my host dad leaving for work. My little sisters running and screaming in the house, or coming home during the day because I didn't have class- or worse, because I didn't feel like going.
I miss my school in Finland. Granted, I hardly fit in till about February. My Rotary counselor, Markus, was so kind, and what I understood of his history lessons was actually quite interesting. I think I'd enjoy it even more now. I remember how we'd sit in the common room, and the younger boys would play techno music even though it was 10 in the morning. And the people who would later be my friends were always too shy to speak English in front of me.
Every day, these memories form a huge part of my life. A lot of the time, I thought that when I left Finland, that would be the end of the story. But maybe it was just the beginning. The beginning of a lifetime of continuing the memories I started there, and of treasuring the love and kindness that was shown to me. I can only hope that one day I can offer the same thing to someone else, because everything that was done for me in Finland was a gift that changed my life completely, and every time I remember that gift... Well, it makes me all the more thankful.

Kotona Taas // Home Again

After a tumultuous plane ride home, riddled with tears, sleepless naps, and hours of television, I finally made it home at about 6PM on the Fourth of July, just in time to sleep my way through the remainder of our Independence Day. My homecoming was a bit less exciting than I had expected. Not that I was waiting for a surprise welcome-back party with all of my old friends and family, but when I came home, I was shocked with the realization that home was home; nothing and everything had changed. I think the hardest part of exchange is coming home, because that's when you're forced to appreciate all the wonderful, and not so wonderful, moments that you experienced in the past year. You have to come to terms with the fact that moments are exactly that- moments, and they disappear without us even noticing. One 8 hour plane ride turned into a week, a month, and finally 11 months in a beautiful country with friends from every corner of the world and a language I'll probably never need outside of Finland. That was just leaving; coming home made me realize that I had let go of my past, and that my life truly existed (or exists) in Finland. My friends are all there, and now I'm left to fend for myself, once again, to try and find my way of life here. I knew when I left for Finland that it would take time to get used to things. I never thought that upon my return I would struggle to understand social cues or find my old place in my family. Of course, I'll never have my "old place" back. A year has passed, and we're all new people, with new roles and new experiences. That means finding a new way to fit into the world, and adapting to home the same way I adapted to Finland. Despite the struggles, I will never, even for a second, regret going to Finland. It was the most life altering, amazing experience I've ever had, and I'll never be the same. I met people whose beauty shined inside and out, and I learned so many things about myself, and about others as well. For that, I have to thank everyone that I met on exchange, and all of those who helped me get there. I will always remember you as the people who made my dream of going on exchange come true and as those who helped me realize that happiness can be found anywhere, but especially inside yourself.

Till next time, Finland. Tule ikävää.

Eurotour 2013

It's been a month and a half since I last posted, but trust me, it's worth the wait. My last weeks in Finland have been so busy, but more importantly I just arrived home yesterday from the most amazing vacation I have had in my entire life. I bonded so closely with a group of people from all over the world that I met mostly for the first time just 18 days ago. After 16 days stuck in a bus with them, though, I feel like they are family, and they know things about me that would have taken years to share with anyone else. But, what happens on Eurotour, stays on Eurotour.... Unless you're an exchange student and post all your business on your blog. So get ready for a brief description of the most tumultuous, crazy, and fun trip I could have ever experienced.
The schedule:
We left early Sunday morning, the second of June. After a few hours on the train, we arrived in Turku, Finland, where we took an overnight boat to Sweden. After driving through Sweden all day, which was surprisingly beautiful, we took another boat, this time only an hour or so, to Denmark. We stayed in Copenhagen overnight, and got to experience first hand the kindness of the Danish people. Everyone smiled at us and was willing to share things with us and were not disturbed by our many questions and willingness to make conversation with strangers. I hope to make it back to Denmark again! Next, we headed off for Germany where we met a very amusing man dressed in a tiger costume. Apparently it was his birthday, so we had a nice rendition of "Happy Birthday" for him, both in English and in Finnish. The next day, we visited and cheese and clog factory, which resulted in both a total weight gain of about 50lbs since we ate so much cheese, and also the unfortunate experience of having to listen to each other walk around in authentic clogs from Germany. We then drove to Amsterdam, and visited the Anne Frank museum. It was very moving, and, in my opinion, one of the best museums I have visited. Next we drove to a farm where we stayed the night, sleeping right next to the ostrich cage. After breakfast in Holland, we were off to Brussels for a tour of the city, where we got to experience first hand governmental protests (smoke bombs and all) while meandering the streets. After lunch, we headed straight for Paris where we spent the night. (Three meals in the three different countries on that day!) After a good night of sleep in Paris, we were off to see the palace, Fontainebleau, an hour outside of downtown Paris. We then made our way back to town, and ended our tour at the Eiffel Tower for free time and dinner. The next day we had completely free to do and see what we wanted in Paris. Me and a couple other exchange students decided to hit the main shopping street and then spend our afternoon having lunch in the park near the Eiffel Tower where we met some Americans as well as a few Frenchmen who remained unaffected by our charm (our charm consisting of various questions about their lives and whether or not they would kiss on of the other exchange students. Don't you wish we had visited your town?). The next day was an 8 hour bus ride to Southern France, which was rather boring (and stuffy), but the scenery was breathtaking, especially once we arrived in the Alps. We spent the night in Grenoble and headed out to see more of Southern France in the morning. We visited some small towns and got to see a perfume factory in Grasse. In the evening, we arrived in Nice for some free time, after which a small group of exchange students accidentally followed my lead on the way back to the hotel. I got us all extremely lost and we had to ask several people for directions at 11 PM at night. Fortunately we weren't in too much trouble when we got back. The next morning was a long drive through the Alps to Italy, where we got to see Verona. We visited the balcony of Romeo and Juliette, and then headed to the beach for some free time in the evening. Our second day in Italy, we got to see Venice. We had a gondola ride, and then had free time in Venice as well as free time on the beach near the hotel as well. The next day was free again, to go visit anything we wanted. We spent most of our day on the beach, where we all either got sun burnt or tan; most of us got both. The next day we changed hotels again, and had a hike through the Italian Alps. Of the three mountain ranges I have seen in my life, the Alps was definitely the most beautiful! The next day we were in Germany again, the final destination of our trip. We saw some Bavarian dancing during dinner, and then drove to Nurnberg for the night. On the following day, we visited a war museum in Nurnberg, and then drove to Berlin. We had a very emotional goodbye party that night, as we all hugged and kissed each other for the last time. In the morning, we had a bus tour of Berlin as well as some free time to shop and see a bit of the city, but then we were off for the airport. We took a flight to Helsinki where the final goodbyes truly took place, and I can honestly say I have never cried so much when saying goodbye. This group is really like family to me, and I'm astonished by how close I have become with these people. I never knew I would meet people who could be so different on so many levels, nor that I would have the chance to share such an experience with them. For many, it may have been goodbye for life, but I know that I will see some of these people again. I have already started making plans for when I get home from Finland...
Here's just a couple pictures of us, traveling across Europe:
In Paris, France

 In Innsbruck, Austria. From the left, Parker, Calvin, Maddy, Noah (behind Maddy), Rae, Blaine, and me

 In the Italian Alps. From the left, top row: Alyssa, Parker, Rae, Blaine, me, Sarah. Bottom: Maddy, Calvin

Hyvää Syntymäpäivä // Happy Birthday

Although I wrote on my blog just 10 days ago, it feels like a month has gone by. My birthday was last week, and I was so busy, I don't know how I didn't collapse in the middle of it!
I was living with my first host family for the week because my current host parents were out of the country on respective vacations. We didn't have school last Thursday or Friday, because of religious holidays, so I had a 4 day weekend to celebrate my birthday! Marika and I made plans to go out to dinner on Wednesday, after school. We were going to go eat at a restaurant in Varkaus, a nearby town, but when her grandpa came to pick us up, instead of driving us to Varkaus, he made a turn to the local hotel and dropped us off in front of a summer cottage! Inside, all my friends from the Wanhat Tanssi (that dance we had in Februrary) were waiting for me, with cake and presents and all! I'm still in shock from the surprise party-- I've always dreamed of having one, but it's one of those dreams that you can't really fulfill on your own. Thankfully, I've made some really amazing friends here in Finland who love me enough to throw a party for me. We danced and ate pizza, and stayed up until the sun rose (which was around 3 or 4AM). This is one of those memories that I know I won't forget for the rest of my life- I've had a lot of those this year!

After a "recovery day" on Thursday from my surprise party, I was back at it again on Friday, my actual birthday. I was woken up by a cheerful round of "Happy Birthday", first in Finnish, then in English, and got hugs from all 4 of my Finnish sisters, and my (host) parents. We don't do that at home, so it was really surprising to me when, before I could even brush my hair, people were singing to me. Around 10 o'clock, we left for Kuopio, where we first did some shopping (and I guiltily bought myself some birthday presents), and then went to eat at a Viking restaurant (that was a surprise too!). All the waitresses and waiters were dressed in period pieces, and we had traditional Finnish food from the viking times, like smoked reindeer liver and smoke sauna pork. It was delicious! Once our pants started feeling tight, we left for some coffee, because we're in Finland, and we can always make coffee fit, no matter how full we are. Once we got home from Kuopio, I didn't have any plans, so I called my friend Jenna, and she asked  me to come watch ice hockey with her and her boyfriend's friends. After the game, we just hung out, and then decided to go to the local bar- my first bar experience as an adult! It was fun, although very empty. We ended up going home around two, but it was still a fun way to spend my birthday. I always have fun in Jenna's company!
The next day, Saturday, I slept for a long time, and then headed over to Julia's house, a girl from high school who lived for a time in the U.S. We had all kind of little snacks and flavored coffee drinks, and we got dressed up to go to a bar in Kuopio. That was quite a different experience from the local one, and we just danced all night long. Needless to say, I was exhausted on Sunday! But I still got up to celebrate Mother's Day with my host mom. She's done so much for me, getting up early on a Sunday is nothing if it means I can show her I care! She's really become like my own mom, and, like the rest of my host family, I love her like my own. There's no question that I will see her again in the coming years!
Here's a picture from me and the girls in Kuopio:

Me and Jenna on the lake at a summer cottage earlier this week. <3 

Kevät!

So it's been about a month since I've last made an entrance, and last you heard Finland was still in full winter. In the last couple of weeks though, spring (kevät) has hit us hard-finally. Of course all Finnish people were telling me about how long this winter has been (as if I needed to be told). But now flowers are starting to bloom, I saw the first mosquito of the season, and the temperature has been rounding off at a good 7 degrees Celcius (that's about 44F). The sun rises between 4AM and 5AM and sets just around 10PM. While for most people this means less sleep and longer days, I find it refreshing after several months of utter darkness. The light changes so quickly- in just a couple of weeks the sun will be setting at 11:30 and rising around 3AM. To me, it seems like a miracle. Having lived all my life with "average" sunlight, I realize how precious light is and I've learned to appreciate the sun so much more.
Along with my appreciation for sunlight and warmth, I've come to notice a huge change in myself. Where before I dreaded going outside, opting for the sanctuary of my dark bedroom with a good movie or book, I have started spending larger and larger amounts of time outside. Maybe it's because in Finnish culture, where nature and outdoor life is a major part of everyday routines, or maybe it's because after 4 months of being forcibly kept inside by bone chilling temperatures and snow storms I'm itching just to feel the breeze in my hair. In any case, I know I'll being spending my entire summer outside this year, soaking up the sun (and fighting off mosquitoes).
On another note, my days in Finland are dwindling down. Only about 70 left; the closer I get to the finish line, the more valuable my days become. Although I've been missing home a lot lately, I know that my time here is soon at an end, and I realize how much I've become attatched to this eccentric nordic culture. I hate to say goodbye to what has been such a life altering time, but in many ways I find I am prepared, because of my year in Finland, to face the rest of my life. I realize that I have been blessed in so many ways, and that I have the time and ability to do anything with my life. My experience as an exchange student has showed me so many new things that I know now how lucky I am to be alive.
Here's a few pictures of some stuff that I've been up to lately...
Me and my friend Marika :)

 

Me and a group of friends when we went to a summer cottage (mind you, I call it a summer cottage, but there was still a foot of snow when we were there) :

Me and Amanda, my host sister from the first host family I had in fall. She got back recently from her exchange in New York, and we've been fast friends although we just met recently! Hän on niin kuin oma sisko! <3 :

I went with my first host family to an Easter celebration at their relative's house (yes, it was Easter, and yes, that's the lake frozen behind me, and yes, we walked across the lake that day). Anyway, I got the chance to try shooting a gun-- and got the bulls eye! I obviously have natural talent... I'm expecting a call from the FBI any day now. Or maybe just the Finnish Army (I don't want to get my hopes up too high):

Me and Amanda, and our little sister Loviisa:

Here are some pictures from when me and a few friends went to another summer cottage:

Here are a few pictures from my dance performance yesterday. We've been practicing for 3 months and finally got to show it off yesterday at the spring show. All the dance groups performed, and I was amazed by the amount of talent there is in our dance company! :

Hockey is my new sport

The shouts and screams covered everything else, along with the beating of our paper fans against our thighs. We cheered, we chanted, we believed until the end. I've never in my life seen a game where the worse our team played, and the longer the game went, the louder the fans cheered. The stadium was just as full when we sat down to win the game as it was when we cheered them through the last 10 seconds of what was one of the worst games (I am told) of the team's history. Of course, having never watched any ice hockey, I had no idea it was a bad game until my host parents said they wanted to leave. I've never been one for watching sports in the first place, but last night was a really new experience for me. It was truly the most amazing experience because for the first time during my exchange I felt sad that this wasn't my own culture and I didn't get to live it every day. On the bright side, I feel a little more prepared for my move to Canada now, and I'm looking forward to watch some hockey next year in college! 

A million things in a matter of weeks...

In the last month, a million things have happened. Maybe that's why I haven't written anything in a long time. I'll keep it to the major points though.
In February, my class celebrated their moving to the oldest class in the school by having a big dance. This is the normal kind of prom or spring fling that we have in the U.S. though... I mean big, princess dresses (I was one of two who didn't have a hoop skirt), boys with bowties and tailcoats, and, of course, balloons. First we trained, for a couple of months, practicing "old dances" like the waltz and the franseesi. Then, on the big day, we had four performances throughout the day for the elementary school, middle school, high school, and finally our parents. It was an incredible experience, and I was really thankful to my partner, Sebastian, who agreed to dance with me even though he's not in the same class as us.

What made the day even more special was the afterparty. We hired a bus to drive us to Kuopio, the big city near us, and joined hundreds of other students at a party in a hotel. There was a dj and some live performance by a Finnish rap artist I'd never heard of... But most importantly we were all together, and as a class I think everyone really bonded (me included!). Some of the people in my class who had never so much as looked me in the eye had long conversations with me about the most off the wall topics... It was a night of my exchange that I won't forget for the rest of my life. These are the moments that are most important to exchange students; the ones where we feel a part of the crowd.

A short two weeks after the dance, the Rotex in our district (Rotex is an organization for young adults who want to be active in Rotary but are either too old for exchange, have already done exchange, or don't want to do exchange) organized a winter weekend for us exchange students. So we packed our bags, skis and toppuhosut (snow pants) and three pairs of socks, and headed out for Siilinjärvi, a small town north of Kuopio. Me and a few other kids decided to do crosscountry skiing instead of downhill, so we set off on an afternoon tour of Siilinjärvi's country. We skiied a good four kilometers, through a farm and then back across the frozen lake (yes, we skiied ON the lake). Over the weekend, we had makkara, or sausage, and lots and lots of soup, and even more cookies and chocolate. It was good that we went skiing or else I'm sure everyone would have gained a couple pounds. Maybe we did anyway... Anyway it was nice to see other exchange students, and finally meet the new ones who came in January to our district from Australia and Brazil. I was especially happy to meet an Australian girl, Amy, who lives a short 20 minutes from my town!

Unfortunately, when the weekend was over, it was time for me to change families agian. Although it's always hard to say goodbye to host families, I was happy to find my way back into town. My new host family, with whom I've been living for 3 or 4 weeks, have been very generous and welcoming, much as my first two were. They live a different way than either of my previous families did, though, and for that reason I'm really happy I chose Rotary, one of the only programs that give students the oppportunity to be in more than one host family.
My host parent's names are Ilkka and Eeva, and they have one daughter who is studying at the university in Joensuu. My host father is an architect, and my host mom works at the bank. I've loved living in their family. They are both very active and engaging; we always speak in Finnish, and since moving there my Finnish has improved very much- though my English has gone the other way... We go skiing together and spend time at cottages (even though it's winter!). My host dad and my host sister's fiance made a hole in the ice for me at the cottage for me to try avantoon (jumping in the frozen lake!). It turns out, you can't actually swim in the frozen lake because it's too cold, and you have to wear a hat and gloves and socks while you do it, but it was such an amazing- and refreshing- Finnish experince. I think I might be doing it again before the spring really comes!
Sauna before avantoon...

 

After avantoon, outside!

My host parents also took me along to go ice fishing. It was a great learning experience, and I also realized that I have a weaker stomach than I thought. But no one will ever say I didn't try!

This past month has been filled with highs and lows, both associated with feeling truly at home in your host country. I'm only just realizing how important this experience has been to me, and how far I've traveled from the person who got on that plane seven months ago. It's true what they say- it's not a year in a life, it's a life in a year. And every day  I know I'm a day closer to saying good bye to this life... But at least I still have three and half months of this amazing experience. Going home will be the hardest part of my exchange.