Kotona Taas // Home Again

After a tumultuous plane ride home, riddled with tears, sleepless naps, and hours of television, I finally made it home at about 6PM on the Fourth of July, just in time to sleep my way through the remainder of our Independence Day. My homecoming was a bit less exciting than I had expected. Not that I was waiting for a surprise welcome-back party with all of my old friends and family, but when I came home, I was shocked with the realization that home was home; nothing and everything had changed. I think the hardest part of exchange is coming home, because that's when you're forced to appreciate all the wonderful, and not so wonderful, moments that you experienced in the past year. You have to come to terms with the fact that moments are exactly that- moments, and they disappear without us even noticing. One 8 hour plane ride turned into a week, a month, and finally 11 months in a beautiful country with friends from every corner of the world and a language I'll probably never need outside of Finland. That was just leaving; coming home made me realize that I had let go of my past, and that my life truly existed (or exists) in Finland. My friends are all there, and now I'm left to fend for myself, once again, to try and find my way of life here. I knew when I left for Finland that it would take time to get used to things. I never thought that upon my return I would struggle to understand social cues or find my old place in my family. Of course, I'll never have my "old place" back. A year has passed, and we're all new people, with new roles and new experiences. That means finding a new way to fit into the world, and adapting to home the same way I adapted to Finland. Despite the struggles, I will never, even for a second, regret going to Finland. It was the most life altering, amazing experience I've ever had, and I'll never be the same. I met people whose beauty shined inside and out, and I learned so many things about myself, and about others as well. For that, I have to thank everyone that I met on exchange, and all of those who helped me get there. I will always remember you as the people who made my dream of going on exchange come true and as those who helped me realize that happiness can be found anywhere, but especially inside yourself.

Till next time, Finland. Tule ikävää.